Thunderstruck

We were speeding down the tracks while I picked at my guitar. I always preferred my acoustic for writing. Something about the sound just made everything more authentic. Or maybe I was just channeling my inner homo. I also call him Jasper.

I looked up at Jazz sitting across the car. He was stretched out across the seats with his signature cowboy hat pulled over his face. Nasty. I can't imagine how much that thing stunk. It rarely left his head. Nasty.

He was the "sensitive" one in the band. Hey, I didn't come up with these gay ass names. Frickin' teen rag mag shit. It made me feel like we were in a Goddamned boy band. Lame. I'm pretty sure boy bands were heavily controlled though, unlike us. I doubt J was sleeping. it More likely passed out or riding his high in peace. Fuck it. He deserves it. We all do.

We've been on the road for months. It's not like I had anything or anyone to get home to, but living out of bags and restaurants gets old and wears on you. I don't care how much a hotel room costs; 8000 thread count sheets don't mean shit when they're cold.

I could probably bed any chick I want. No, I know I could. But the last thing I want is to end up looking like Tiger Woods. I don't need some tatted up Juggs McGee to give an interview about my dick. Single or not, I don't need that shit on the record. So I keep it to some light shit with witnesses. Fucked up, I know. But after this chick Maggie made some statements (read: accusations) after a show we did in Ireland I'm not risking it. I sure as shit avoid the paps for that, but if I can at least have Jazz and Ali around, I feel safer.

I guess since I know that we're not banging anything with a hole and tits I wasn't so against Jazz and my sister being together. Like I said, he's sensitive and shit. Mostly though, I think he grounds her. I only hated it at first because big brothers are supposed to protect their little sisters. And part of that is stopping your douche friends from hitting on a fourteen year old.

I think that's another reason I never went off on random fucking sprees. Alice was always around from the beginning. She didn't fit in with the girls her age. When my mom and dad adopted her she had a wisdom beyond her years. Mostly Alice would just sit quietly and draw in the corner of the basement while Jazz and I worked on our music.

After a couple of years Ali and J developed a weird kindred spirit sort of thing. She couldn't remember her past and Jazz couldn't forget his. His arms still bore the scars from his youth. I knew he'd been through enough of his own shit that he would never hurt her.

So as we grew up they developed this relationship that wasn't carnal and yet, was still very intimate. I'm grateful, but not really surprised that Jazz and I maintained the close friendship we did. Maybe things would have been different if Ali was my blood sister, but I don't think so.

She said she couldn't remember remember anything about her past but I didn't think Ali needed sex and drugs and all that fuckery around her. My parents didn't give me all the details but I knew Alice had a really rough beginning with less than stellar roll models. I didn't want to trigger anything for her.

Besides, I hated bringing these chicks around who acted like we were already together or some shit. It wasn't even like we could just have sex. They wanted to make sure that I knew that they knew me. Just because they had my parent's hometown, my birthday, and my first trip to the zoo memorized didn't mean anything to me. To them, it was like we were soul mates. That or they had read a bunch of articles on me. Creepy.