Jess said nothing to me. She took a few more drags and checked her lip gloss. She was a great friend, but still fairly self-absorbed. She pushed her boobs up and got out of the car.

I can't believe I'm considering this let alone dragging someone else in. How long has it been? Oh God, she wouldn't talk to him? Would she?

I loved Jess with all my heart. We survived high school together and college apart. We lived in different states with different lifestyles. We would go months without speaking to each other, sometimes time just slipped away and other times I just avoided her. While I was settling down with Jake, getting my degree, and "growing up," Jess was playing house with jerk after jerk. As much as I wanted to be there for her, I didn't always have the energy to throw her a pity party.

When she met Liam I was frankly relieved. He was older, had a steady job, was close with his family, but most importantly, he made her happy. For once she was with someone who didn't put her down and was apparently okay with her mood swings. I was thrilled for her. Their wedding took place in March and Liam and Jess moved back to the Seattle area a few months later.

Thunderstruck

We were speeding down the tracks while I picked at my guitar. I always preferred my acoustic for writing. Something about the sound just made everything more authentic. Or maybe I was just channeling my inner homo. I also call him Jasper.

I looked up at Jazz sitting across the car. He was stretched out across the seats with his signature cowboy hat pulled over his face. Nasty. I can't imagine how much that thing stunk. It rarely left his head. Nasty.

He was the "sensitive" one in the band. Hey, I didn't come up with these gay ass names. Frickin' teen rag mag shit. It made me feel like we were in a Goddamned boy band. Lame. I'm pretty sure boy bands were heavily controlled though, unlike us. I doubt J was sleeping. it More likely passed out or riding his high in peace. Fuck it. He deserves it. We all do.

We've been on the road for months. It's not like I had anything or anyone to get home to, but living out of bags and restaurants gets old and wears on you. I don't care how much a hotel room costs; 8000 thread count sheets don't mean shit when they're cold.

I could probably bed any chick I want. No, I know I could. But the last thing I want is to end up looking like Tiger Woods. I don't need some tatted up Juggs McGee to give an interview about my dick. Single or not, I don't need that shit on the record. So I keep it to some light shit with witnesses. Fucked up, I know. But after this chick Maggie made some statements (read: accusations) after a show we did in Ireland I'm not risking it. I sure as shit avoid the paps for that, but if I can at least have Jazz and Ali around, I feel safer.

I guess since I know that we're not banging anything with a hole and tits I wasn't so against Jazz and my sister being together. Like I said, he's sensitive and shit. Mostly though, I think he grounds her. I only hated it at first because big brothers are supposed to protect their little sisters. And part of that is stopping your douche friends from hitting on a fourteen year old.

I think that's another reason I never went off on random fucking sprees. Alice was always around from the beginning. She didn't fit in with the girls her age. When my mom and dad adopted her she had a wisdom beyond her years. Mostly Alice would just sit quietly and draw in the corner of the basement while Jazz and I worked on our music.

After a couple of years Ali and J developed a weird kindred spirit sort of thing. She couldn't remember her past and Jazz couldn't forget his. His arms still bore the scars from his youth. I knew he'd been through enough of his own shit that he would never hurt her.

So as we grew up they developed this relationship that wasn't carnal and yet, was still very intimate. I'm grateful, but not really surprised that Jazz and I maintained the close friendship we did. Maybe things would have been different if Ali was my blood sister, but I don't think so.

She said she couldn't remember remember anything about her past but I didn't think Ali needed sex and drugs and all that fuckery around her. My parents didn't give me all the details but I knew Alice had a really rough beginning with less than stellar roll models. I didn't want to trigger anything for her.

Besides, I hated bringing these chicks around who acted like we were already together or some shit. It wasn't even like we could just have sex. They wanted to make sure that I knew that they knew me. Just because they had my parent's hometown, my birthday, and my first trip to the zoo memorized didn't mean anything to me. To them, it was like we were soul mates. That or they had read a bunch of articles on me. Creepy.

K Stew- I love you

Seriously. Saw an article today in Us Weekly while at Sprawlmart. Didn't get a chance to read it but as always it brought on my need for a Kristen Stewart fix. I told my husband that she would be my exception. You know? The one person you can cheat w and your spouse can't get upset. However, she's a chick which means I don't need an exception for her because my husband should be psyched. But not him. Freaking prude. He says, "It's still cheating. " What Guy says that?!

Anyway. My original point was from the magazine. Well, the online version. So I'm following links about my gf and I come across this one about "creative hairstyles"

href="http://www.usmagazine.com/stylebeauty/photos/hollywoods-worst-hair-hall-of-fame-20091612/5801"
It wasn't even the article I cared about. It was the dumbass comments that followed. Idiots.

Kristen,
I don't care how you do your hair or makeup, what you wear, or who you date. I think you are a unique person with a good head on your shoulders. You are not a vapid, talentless, porn-star wannabe like so many other "celebrities." I dig your movies and your sense of style. You make me wish I was 19/20 again (ok, not really) but you have the whole world open to you. Good luck with it all.

As for me, it's Sunday and I'm having a fun filled family day. Actually, I'm typing while my husband and daughter nap and my son climbs all over me requesting Dragon Tails (God I hate that show.) At least I can think back to the times when I was crazy and wild, did lots of partying and drinking, and studying somewhere in between. I used to have money all for me and I didn't just go on vacation, I backpacked through Europe. Ah, youth. Enough depressing reminiscing. I'm going to apply for more jobs today so I can be a part of the "real world."

How the hell?

So who knew all this blogger shit was so complicated? This is going to have to be one of those things I work on while the kids sleep.  Nothing better then when they nap at the same time!

Quiet day here.  Well, except for me.  Screaming that is.  Lots of time outs today, yay for Daddy coming home.  Even better? The boys are currently upstairs while I get some "me time." HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!  Me time?! Right now I'm holding a baby while I type one-handed.  BUT, she's sleeping, so I think that counts.  At some point after the kids go to bed I have to run to the grocery store.  Yeah, more "me time."  Point being that I will take the time to figure this shit out so its better to look at at least. 

Am I really doing this?

The thing that finally hooked me was flipping through the channels tonight.  It was one of those entertainment celebrity shows that at first glance makes you think its a real news show. The hosts were discussing a new video by Eminem ft. Rihanna (Love the Way You Lie.)  Apparently it's a big deal because the song is about domestic violence between couples (as in, both partners use sex and violence against each other) in a very intense, often dangerous, and mostly unhealthy relationship.  So, with all that said, really, what's the big deal?  The fact is relationships like this exist all the time all over the place between young and old couples.  I'm not here to say whether it's wrong or right (although, it's still unhealthy).  Some people thrive on the drama and intensity.  My point is, it's not as "out there" as these hosts would have one believe.  It's not like Eminem is the only person who has experienced this and that's why he wrote the song.  


Again, I don't really even care for him.  That's not the point.  My point is that for this show to put up a poll with a title of something like, "Was Rihanna Totally Out of Line?" is just silly.  Really?  This is what people hop on line or on the phone to vote on?  I guess so.  Here I am talking about it.  


Ok, so back to me actually doing a blog.  Well, I continued to tell my husband how stupid they were because really, who the hell wants to hear what I have to babble about?  My guess is no one.  My guess is that this will go unread.  But, at least it's a place for me to put my ridiculous thoughts that no one else wants to hear about.  


Baby girl is crying, but real quick, here's the things you can look forward to me talking about:
Twilight and my new found obsession with Kristen Stewart
My idiot husband (who I love, but he's still an idiot)
My life as a housewife (exciting right?)
My favorite stories on fanfiction.net and The Writer's Coffee Shop
And my new found (or newly remembered) passion for all things that don't revolve around doing dishes, changing poopy diapers, and watching Train Thomas (aka Thomas the Train).